Words can’t describe (but I’ll try) how hideous the trailer for Paris Hilton’s new movie Hottie and the Nottie is, and how utterly shallow. It’s like Paris watched Jack Black and Gwyneth Paltrow in Shallow Hal and decided she’d do something like that. But instead of big girls, the movie has her roommate looking like a wretched, diseased, rotting troll.

It’s truly sickening, and I hope she never makes another movie. But when you’re the spawn of a wealthy family – even if grandpa took away your inheritance – you get to do what you feel like. Even if you have no greater talent than opening your legs.

Hottie and the Nottie: That’s not hot. Watching her wee chihuahua poop would be more interesting and less offensive. Watch the trailer (below) with extreme caution. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Great name for a movie to be taken seriously in. That’s what Paris Hilton is hoping for, to be taken as a “real” Hollywood actress in Hottie and the Nottie – where she has the challenging role of stripping down to her lingerie. Hmm, didn’t she have a fair bit of practice being naked in certain other videos? I’m thinking maybe this should have been called Blonde Ambition #2. And if Britney Spears decides she wants to be an actress, that can be the third in a trilogy about blonde poptarts who think they can be actresses.

Below, a video of Paris Hilton acting like she has singing talent.