Tom Cruise already has a public relations nightmare, thanks to the leaking of a Church of Scientology (CoS) video of him appearing to be quite loony. (I’ve read that the CoS claims that whomever leaked it edited it to make him appear crazy.) Now a tabloid spy says that Cruise is interested in converting troubled popstar/ actress Britney Spears into the Scientology fold.

Well, I believe in freedom of religion, but I draw the line at active/ persistent conversion. As Chris Crocker, below, might say, “Leave Britney alone!”

Cruise will be in Valkyrie this year, in which he saves the world from Nazis. Or was it psychologists?

(Warning: video clip contains lots of crying by Chris Crocker. Oh yeah, and the F-word.)

According to the Huffington Post and US, George Clooney is saying that he has to move because of Britney Spears. This is thanks to the helicopters that appeared recently one night over his house. He thought that someone might be in the guest house and with a phone call determined it wasn’t his assistant. George then grabbed a baseball bat and went out to check in his bathrobe. He later found out that Spears’ home is about about 300-400 yards away. So he  feels that he now has to move. Cripes, I’d hate to meet an angry George Clooney in an alley.

Spears in the meantime has gotten back the fake British accent, claims she doesn’t know anyone named Adnan Ghalib, and said the following about Heath Ledger’s death (in a British accent): “He’s still here. Oh, yes. No one ever really dies. No one.” Oh, and she said, “Yes, I’m sick, but in a good way.”

Britney, since you think you’re British now, maybe you should look up the slang term “nutter”. It has nothing to do with legumes. And how dare you drive away handsome and talented George Clooney from his home. Of course, people are saying that you never had a chance.

Bwah ha hah aha hah ha ha. The New York Post reports that a French producer, Philippe Rebboah, wants Britney Spears to play the Virgin Mary. But it’s for a satire film, Sweet Baby Jesus. Yeah, it’d have to be a satire, wouldn’t it?