The people behind the Capri Film Festival in Italy might have honored Lindsay Lohan (and Hayden Panettiere) for “their body of work”, but I’m wondering if they’re referring to the bodies of these very attractive young actresses or their movies. Because I can’t think of any movie Lohan did that deserves any sort of kudos, with maybe the exception of Mean Girls, and I say that lightly. (Yessss, I watched it, and Freaky Friday, too. Leave me alone, damn you.)

And the only time I’ve seen Panettiere act is when she was about 9 or 10 on the TV series Law & Order: SVU, cowering under a desk and saying very little. But I’m not picking on Hayden because she at least had the “balls” to take on Japanese fishermen, and even took a few blows. And because she might actually be a good actress on Heroes, a show I haven’t seen because I missed the start and am waiting for reruns. (By the way, she’s appearing in Fireflies in the Garden in 2008.)

Back to Lindsay. Think I’m being mean? I’m not. I have weak spot for cute, freckled, slutty, green-eyed, side-boobed, nipple-slippping, redheaded (or brunette), red-crotched actresses named Linsday Lohan. But according to an online poll by AOL, her performance in I Know Who Killed me was voted “the worst performance in 2007 by an actress”.

Let’s recap some of your 2007 mistakes, Miss Lohan. (Or at least things you have to contend with.)

1. Not using a chauffeur, or even a taxicab, for crying out loud, then being in a DUI situation, then lying about it.

2. Being in I Know Who Killed Me (then showing up at the Capri Film Festival in 2008 to accept an award).
3. Being crowned dumbest person in Hollywood.
4. Dating Riley Giles, then letting him blab about you in the gossip mags by him about how you’re a sexual nymph. And then letting mommy Dina Lohan call up Giles’ mommy.
5. Openly smooching with three men and bedding down with another man. All in the matter of a day or two around New Year’s Eve 2007/ New Year’s Day 2008. [You just had to add a bit more lunacy to the end of 2007, didn’t you?]
6. Begging friends for cash. Yikes. Is it that bad already? Why not take up celebrity blogging? Or being one of Perez Hilton’s inside sources.
7. Being an unofficial but paid sponsor for anti-smoking lozenge. Okay, maybe it’s not that horrible. Except that you’ve actually been caught smoking.

Sorry Lindsay. Maybe you can still redeem yourself after all that, in Dare to Love Me and Poor Things, both in 2008.

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